Busy times keep me sane

wp-image-1361321949jpg.jpg.I know I dont need to explain, however I want to. I’m so sorry to my followers for not blogging for such a time. Im also extremely sad, I haven’t managed to catch up on all you amazing strong ambivalent people on here! I hope with all my heart you are all doing good as can be and “keeping the good fight up”(  as my once upon a time wonderful  Pychotherapist once said to me.)

I haven’t actually checked when I last blogged or what is was about.   My oldest 2 children shared their 18th and 21st birthday last June.   It was an unforgettable joint birthday party.  With help of my partner and 2 of my Oldest Daughters friends, we decked the hall out with pictures of their childhood years and ballons banners galore.  A Dj and food prepared by a wonderful friend made the whole event something  I was proud of. My children thanked me and my partner with the deepest of gratitude. I managed not to cry! Thank you anti depressants.

I’m divorced and the house is being sold very soon.  We have moved to another town. My Son stayed on with his Dad…I miss him but he’ll be off to uni in September.   Life has changed alot.  My partner and I fought for an appeal and won whoop whoop!! after my youngest was  offered and attended,  a far away school,under achieving, due to no spaces. The journey required 2 buses as well, which I attended with her and a host of stress and cost time etc as well as interfering and impacting on our lives negatively.

Last Wednesday I started a job, via a recruitment agency doing Teaching Assistant / learning assistant. It is in a pupils referal unit.  Children who have been excluded from main stream school.  Im with a group of 15 to 16 year old girls only. I’ve never worked with these  ages before apart from my own children of course.  It’s honestly the most challenging job I’ve ever done.  I have the empathy. It’s triggering but I believe in these girls. I just hope they can believe in themselves….

My youngest and I

P is my youngest. My last child I carried. In my years of healing from childhood sexual abuse, parenting is the heaviest, challenging,  heart wrenching, experience, I think I will ever of had. Tears , tantrums and joy, unconditional love.  P it appears, is also the most like me in personality.  We share stubbornness, enjoyment through  creativity for dancing and singing. I have 3 children and they are all unique and special.  They all carry my good heart I know that.  P filled me with pride yesterday, after defeating her own demons,of not wanting to  play a part she agreed to, in a leavers school play. She was wonderful and my heart really did swell,  for her accomplishment. At the end a few children cried emotional changing times ahead. My P comforted one crying girl from her class. That’s who she is, a caring, empathetic, smart little being. The world is her oyster my job is to guide her forward with the candle.